Well, it's been an emotional week here in Holland, Michigan.
Unfortunately that statement isn't as comforting as Garrison's weekly opening to the News from Lake Woebegon. Mary's passing last Monday added a new layer to the complexity that our family is processing, experiencing, grasping to understand...
While washing the lunch dishes today, Martha noticed a number of Chloe's hairs in the breakfast booth and expressed her fear about it. I asked what she was afraid of, to which she replied "Chloe not being the same person without hair." I started talking about us being spiritual beings living in human bodies, that Chloe is still the same person even if she has one less kidney or is missing her trademark blonde curls. Without thinking, I found myself continuing by drawing a parallel to the kids seeing Mary's body at the visitation on Friday and how while Mary's body is still here on Earth, her spirit is with God. Martha said she understood, but I wonder... Maybe I should have just listened and not tried to explain...
Chloe is wrestling with trying to understand it all as well. As Christa mentioned last Thursday, Chloe wanted to ask her oncologist about Mary and how her cancer was different. On Friday Chloe wanted to know when Miss Mary was coming back. This weekend she moved from asking questions about losing her hair to telling everyone she sees "I'm going to lose my hair, but I have a ponytail hat!" Today, while biking home from downtown as we rode past church she asked, "where do people go when they die?" followed by, "where is heaven?" and "what does it look like?"
Our kids are dealing with some pretty big stuff.
Chloe finished up her six radiation treatments last Thursday so we don't have to return to the clinic at DeVos until Thursday of this week. She has seven more weekly chemo treatments and then the treatments will begin to space out a bit continuing for about another 14 weeks after that.
She continues to respond pretty well to her chemo treatments. She still seems to wear out more quickly, but she was found running through the basement hallways of church this morning and she rode on the tag-a-long behind my bike for a trip downtown.