Friday, July 15, 2011

a reason for everything

i cannot reconcile the idea that God gives us challenges in order to tell us something,
yet i do believe that God can take a horrible thing
and from it bring beauty.

i am experiencing that tonight.

i would never choose to experience this.
i do not believe that God gave chloe cancer to teach us something.
yet...

God is giving us so much through this.

after a harried week in the hospital, i found time to just be with some dear friends.
we talked about everything.
suddenly i felt moved to tears,
not because i am so sad,
but because i am so grateful.

i am so grateful for these dear friends who will do
ANYTHING
for me.

empty my trash
coordinate meals
be my substitute teacher
bring me coffee
facilitate my "foodie" practices
buy hand sanitizer
send me prayers
do my laundry
respect my need for space
listen...

the list goes on.

a few weeks ago, i felt astounded by the fact that
i have led a charmed life.
i truly had not had to face difficulty.

i can still say that i lead a charmed life.

i am not grateful to see my child suffer.
i wish i could erase this all.

yet through it all i see love and grace
and i can give thanks.

7 comments:

erin heiser said...

Thanks for this perspective. It was really important for me to hear this tonight. Holding you all in my thoughts and prayers, and sending lots of love.

sherry said...

Thank you Kipp for sharing your feelings. I was moved by your thoughts during your shopping trip to Meijer. Think about how many people where inside Meijer the same time as you that had the same thought. "I want people to know I'm going through....." If we as a people would be mindful of others and their struggles as we pass through this life and try not to judge, the world would be a better place.

My pray for your family today is to carry on with a normal day. : )

elissa said...

BEAUTIFULLY said.

Adriann Divozzo said...

What a beautiful post with a great title. This situation is allowing me to further build my faith, no longer asking, "why does God allow this" but "where is God and what is He doing?" I can see Him here, providing love, strength and community.

Tonia said...

I was right there with you- as you well know. It's good to know a God whose love doesn't just win your soul, but wins your whole life- the good the bad and the ugly.

grace and peace

Kim Mendels said...

all I can say is, Amen, and amen.

steved said...

Your words are a special blessing in the midst of this chaos. We love you all and pray daily for you. M and S