Tuesday, August 16, 2011

a tough day

i am struggling to post today.
i want to communicate to everyone that
everything will be okay.
we do have good days,
maybe we just don't write about them.

yet,
if i don't share today,
i will not allow the flood of
prayers and support
that have been so freely given.

yesterday was awful.
early in the morning
i ran to the store to purchase
more medicine prizes
(a suggestion from the oncology nurses).

i came home with minutes to spare
before heading into devos.
kip was sitting with chloe in his lap.
both were in quite a state.
they had spent that last half hour
battling over medicine.

little chloe needs some control in her life.
just about the only control available
is the ability to take or refuse
her daily meds.

we are trying to give her more control,
choosing what she wants to eat,
what to wear,
what to play...

yet, it is to no avail.
she cries,
screams,
thrashes,
gags
and sometimes throws up her medicine.

it is stressful.
it is awful.
it is no fun.

and that was all before 9am on a monday.

we headed into GR
having forgotten to put on the numbing cream
that makes port access (a poke)
go more smoothly.

we went to the infusion space.
designed to be a nice place for kids,
but totally overwhelming.

each patient gets a little space in a big room.
the space comes with 2 chairs,
a tv
and medical paraphernalia.

if you can imagine
the noise,
the claustrophobia,
the overstimulation.

we listened to the sounds of
several tvs,
parents talking with social workers,
nurses talking,
cell phones ringing.

if that wasn't enough already,
we had to give chloe tylenol.
her temperature was a bit high.
blood transfusions can cause a fever.
a high enough fever would mean
going inpatient.

we battled kicking and screaming
(i know, those who know chloe cannot picture it),
and a whole host of
undesirable behaviors.

with an audience.

we had to do it again later
to give her another daily medication.

the kind nurses and play therapist
assured us that it is normal,
that it would get better.
it was all i could do not to
burst into tears.

after 7 hours in the clinic
we headed home.

we did return to a wonderful dinner.
a good friend dropped it off the night before
and our neighbor had it warming in the oven for us.

there was a package from minnesota waiting.
wonderful, creative, entertaining activities
for all three kids.
they just sat together
in a pile of wrapping paper
and colored and created.
giving kip and i a minute
to just breathe.

i still cried all through dinner.
i explained to martha and henri
that there was no bad news,
nothing had happened.
it was just a tough day
and i needed to release
all those feelings.

i wish i could say that
meds this morning
went without a hitch.
but that wasn't the case.

please pray for chloe,
that she can relax and
take the meds
that will keep her healthy.
that she gets the
needed boost
from the transfusion.

please pray for kip and i
that we can stay strong,
be kind
and patient.

please pray for martha and henri
that they get the attention they need,
that they feel loved and supported.

today is a new day.
the kids are playing with our neighbors
and the world's best babysitter.
kip is getting away with his brother.
i am getting some time to myself.
dinner is being delivered.

there are always bright spots.
sometimes we just have to look for them.





7 comments:

Veronica B. said...

praying... and praying... you are not forgotten... you are loved... all of you...

Unknown said...
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Cory Timmer said...

Praying for you often... Praying for rest and peace.

"Come to me, all who are burdened and weary and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Stacey said...

Sending your family Hugs, Prayers, Strengh and Hope for a better today.

Tom and Janice said...

Praying earnestly for all of you. Qué Dios les conceda mucha paz. Con cariño, Tom and Janice

Holly and Ddog said...

oh, so good.
I had to read it twice, Christa.
I need to be reminded of this, too.
Only if we look.
He is so faithful.
Thanks for blessing me to be a part of your journey.
Continually rooting for you in prayer.

Pam Dusseljee said...

Thinking about your family and praying for you daily!! Phil 4:13
Pam Dusseljee/Creekside family