Sunday, September 18, 2011

back to school

life is intense right now
two kids going back to school
two teachers going back to school
one kid going back to preschool.

and then there is cancer.

cancer means
weekly trips to grand rapids
vigilance
daily medications
worry.

with the return to school
it also means
entrusting chloe to someone else,
foisting the vigilance and worry
on other people.

i am thankful for our parents
for miss megan, chloe's teacher.
it is not easy to be the decision maker.
is she okay?
how is her energy level?
should i take her temperature?
where is her hat?
did she use sanitizer?

i am happy to be back at school part-time.
i have a great teaching partner
supportive colleagues
an amazing class.
it is a challenge that makes my brain work hard.

i know that it is good,
yet sometimes i struggle.
between the worry and vigilance,
the trips to grand rapids,
the papers to grade,
lessons to plan,
the astounding amount
of student information
to organize and record,
loving and attending to
my own children,

there really isn't much time left
to attend to myself
or my relationship with kip.

there is little enough time
amidst the worry and vigilance
to communicate the most essential details.

when and how do we
communicate our feelings,
our love for each other?

we just forge ahead.
we try hard to take a moment
to create a moment
to share our successes,
our failures,
our tears
and anger.

and pray for god's guidance to push us through.

1 comment:

Adriann Divozzo said...

What a lovely post and a reminder to me to also be conscious of nurturing relationships we've been blessed with. Foist and forge: fabulous words!