Sunday, October 09, 2011

tipping point

early in september
i visited my new favorite bakery
the person who worked there
was so nice and friendly.

"what are you going to do today?"
he asked, casually..
i explained that our daughter was
at DeVos getting treatments
for cancer.
his face fell,
"i will certainly
say a prayer for her."

"thank you,
it really isn't as awful as
one would imagine.
it is actually
going to be okay."
i said as i left the bakery.

i walked back towards
the hospital,
buoyed by
cheerful interactions,
a newfound bakery
and anticipation
of the yummy treats
in my bag.

i reflected that life is
fragile, yet beautiful.
i gave thanks
to God
for allowing me
to be a part of it all.

it is funny how
perspective can change.
this past week
someone asked how it was going.

"it's hard."
i said.

we all have our
tipping points.
whether we are
experiencing something
life shattering
or just a hard day,
we never really know
what will push us
past the tipping point.

it could be anything,
a few sleepless nights,
deadlines at work,
a weird interaction,
bad news...

i think for me,
the hospital stay
was a tipping point.
it moved me from
"it's really okay."
to
"it's really hard."

from prior experience
i know that
life will get better.
it always does.

but i have a choice
of what to do
until it does
get better.

i can look
at chloe
and see
the dark circles under her eyes,
the wisps of hair on her head,
the crabbiness that comes
with fighting against this illness.

i can look
at chloe
and see
cancer.

or,
i can look
at chloe
and see
a resilient spirit,
a little fighter,
a survivor.

i can look
at chloe
and see
a gift
from God.

1 comment:

Adriann Divozzo said...

Thank you for sharing these thoughts. Intentional thought is a powerful thing, but doesn't normally come easy. You are a strong, humble, loving family. We continue to pray for your little fighter.